Here we are again, in the middle of a new day, a new place, and a new mindset. I’ve had several websites, blogs, forums, or whatever form of online distribution platforms you can define. There were countless “revamps” of the same goal, the same idea, but I can count on just one hand how many of them actually mattered. I couldn’t lie to you and say that these were meaningful endeavors. I wrote some poems, spouted off some bullshit, but there was no feeling, no spirit, and there sure as hell wasn’t love at the core of any of those projects. The reason I’ve waited so long to have another go at all of this is because I was waiting for the right moment to dive back in. I wanted to wait until I truly saw a change in myself that would encourage me to find my path again and stay on it.
In the previous months I’ve come a lot closer to actually figuring out what path I can see myself following in my life and that was, without a doubt, the most important prerequisite for this process. If I didn’t change within that time period, then what purpose would there have been in just setting up a new website? It is oftentimes said that you need to be the change that you wish to see in the world and I agree with that to the greatest extent, but I did not feel it was right to go back out into the online world if I was not going to embrace that philosophy with the tenacity and ambition that I do now.
While a great deal of the change I’m seeing in myself was brought upon by negative experiences, I also went through one truly miraculous experience that brought me full circle to self-realization, that being high school graduation. This was the day I met the strongest and most loving person on Earth. This was the day I met her. The one person that, after years of darkness and unheard birthday wishes, came into my life when I least expected it. Unexpected, but not unwanted, and certainly not unappreciated. Her entrance into my heart gave me the courage and hope I needed to believe in love, humanity, and God.
Our meeting upon graduation night was the start of a new chapter in both of our lives. Each and every day we write more and more of a story that others would have given up on because of insecurities in themselves, and bleak outlooks on the future due to past troubles, but we inspire each other every moment of every day to keep holding on and to keep trying to make the world a better place. We do it because we see that light in each other that we have yet to find in most people we’ve met. We will always love each other and face the adversities of the world together because we don’t know any other way to live. We will always get back up after we’ve been pushed down, wipe the dirt off our faces, and fight back with even greater will power than we had before. We will always make the choices we know are right without ever thinking twice. There is no doubt in my mind that she is a fallen angel whose purpose is to bring me out of the darkness, and I know that once she grows new wings, she will not take flight and leave me, but take me by the hand and lead me further into a world of new possibilities and miracles that man could have never dreamed of. If I were to place a label on what this day is to be defined as, I would call it the day of unity, an event of two broken worlds merging to form one. I am going to call this “Wedding Day”.
I wish I could say more about my love, but I am far too selfish, and I hold this far too sacred to my heart and soul to just share it with anyone who ever opens this entry up on a computer. Besides, I don’t want to spoil your happy endings in the least bit. I want you all to take my word that there is hope and an amazing person waiting out there somewhere for you. I want you to find your own love, not relive mine. Each and every one of you reading this deserve that.
This blog is a testament to those who have made me a braver and stronger person. This is going to be nothing but me uncensored, and not in the sense of being vulgar or inappropriate as the definition of the word is made out to be, but in the sense that I will not pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m no longer afraid of loving who I am, even if others have something to say about it. I see it as an expression of their envy, and with that, I am flattered. This is take 2 of my life story, and this time I’m going to get it right.
On a final note, I didn’t see it fit to delete the entries from my last project as they were still a part of my past and shouldn’t be forgotten just because of regret, but I also didn’t want this blog to be a continuation of that part of my life. That story was so negative and unrepresentative of who I am now. I am a completely different person in many ways, a much happier one, and this is how I shall stay. If you would like to read the old posts, they are located here (link), but just to warn you, the theme I used is broken. At least the content is still readable though.
Here we are, ready to change for the better, and I really feel like I can hold the torch. I am going to take the lead. After rebirth, I really believe we can all be the change we wish to see in the world, and that is a miracle of its own caliber.
Photo Credit (P.S. – I really enjoy the irony in the title of this picture)
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